Evolution of the "New" Cleveland Browns Logo

Looks like Jimmy Haslam III learned how to use MS Paint's paint bucket tool. The hype around the Cleveland Browns New Logo is perhaps the greatest trolling of Cleveland since LeBron's "Decision."

The Moses Cleaveland Tee

I know you've been waiting with bated breath. At long wait, in time for the start of the (World Series-winnin?) 2014 Cleveland Baseball season, the Fightin' Moses T-Shirt! Big thanks to our partners in this venture, TeamCLE tees.

Purchase one (or twenty!) here: 

http://teamcle.storenvy.com/products/6519289-moses-cleaveland

No Wahoo Cleveland Baseball Uniforms

After re-working a Cleveland Baseball logo should Chief Wahoo ever go the way of the dodo, the next logical step would be a uniform employing said logo. Again, I've worked on this previously. This iteration keeps Cleveland's current Block C logo--boring as it may be--and incorporates various other elements drawn from Cleveland's city flag.

Hey Cleveland: Chief or General?

Wahoo, meet Moses. Moses, meet Wahoo. I don't want no trouble out of you two.

Mister Clutch

With a nod to reddit user /u/mysterymanstan for the idea.

King Hoyer the 1st of Cleve-Land

Lo, there shall be crowned a new king for all of Cleve-Land; His name shall be Hoyer the First and he shall be much beloved...

Teddy Bridgewater is Having Second Thoughts

Because I like Kicking Hornets' Nests

 

Cleveland Kombat

This strange photo can only mean one thing: another hardball masterpiece over at BugsAndCranks.com:

http://www.bugsandcranks.com/keithgood/baseball/cleveland-kombat/

The 33 Percent

The various metrics agree: Cleveland's shot at making the 2013 MLB playoffs hovers around 33 percent. With upcoming games in Atlanta and Detroit, that number is bound to fluctuate. As we stand, though, the odds of Cleveland’s October itinerary including anything other than rest and golf roughly equals the percentage of:

• Hold ‘Em hands which flush after flopping 4 of a suit.
• Americans who believe aliens exist.

Continue Reading at Bugs & Cranks.com...

No Wahoo Cleveland Baseball

Today we run a hypothetical branding guide for when Cleveland's MLB team eventually (yes, eventually) drops Chief Wahoo from its identity. This set was featured on the website uni-watch.com

Disco Stu is Optimistic!

Tecmo Browns - Week 15

RGIII DISCOVERS HIS FARTS ARE INDEED MADE OF MAGIC
MEANWHILE; CLEVELAND FINALLY REMEMBERS THEY'RE CLEVELAND.

16 Dec 2012
Cleveland, OH

After a hiatus in no way related to a certain fictional sportswriter's increased freelance writing load, the Tecmo Browns return for Week 15 action against the Washington [Slightly Offensive Racial Stereotypes]. Apparently such hiatuses (hiatusi?) work like Super Mario's Invincibility Stars; providing initial speed and strength against the goombas and then saying "eff all" when the Hammer Bros. show up. Joe Haden picked off RG III on the second play from scrimmage and T-Rich followed with a bruising, 15 yard TD run.

Tecmo Browns - Week 9

BROWNS UNABLE TO COOK RAVENS' RICE
CLEVELAND'S FIRST HALF LEAD FIZZLES IN LOSS TO BALTIMORE.

4 Nov 2012
Cleveland, OH

A win, they say, is a win. Although the Cleveland Browns Week 8 win vs. San Diego looked ugly all around, the final score saw Cleveland on top. A week later, the Browns hoped to continue this momentum against AFC North rival Baltimore. Week 9's script started much the same. "COLD OPEN ON: a stout Browns defense, flummoxing the opposing QB and an offense sparking to life." Despite early efficiency from rookie QB Brandon Weeden, the Browns could only manage two first half field goals. The Browns' D nullified  Baltimore's only real drive with a second quarter interception, holding the Ravens scoreless at halftime.

Tecmo Browns - Week 8

DOMINATING DEFENSE LEADS BROWNS TO VICTORY
PHILLIP RIVERS SEEN CRYING SOFTLY ON SIDELINES.

28 Oct 2012
Cleveland, OH

Coming into their Week 8, the Cleveland Browns had yet to play a complete game. Against San Diego, Cleveland finally shook off the ghosts of inconsistency which seem to have haunted the young team. The offense, led by a strong rushing performance from Trent Richardson, marched 89 yards down field on their opening drive. Despite being unable to get into the end zone, Cleveland took the lead with a Phil Dawson field goal. The defense responded by holding San Diego to a punt, sacking Phillip Rivers twice on the Chargers' opening drive.

Picking the World Series (Uniform) Winner

I've already proven myself a poor prognosticator concerning on-the-field issues, so in lieu of a sure-fire prediction (which is almost guaranteed to go horribly wrong*) let's focus on what's really important, here: the uniforms.

DETROIT TIGERS:

I loathe the Tigers for winning the AL Central. I loathe that my earliest baseball memory is pissing in the troughs at old Tiger Stadium next to dudes five times my age. I loathe them for discovering the switch to turn Jhonny "Don't Call Me Johnny" Peralta from zero to hero (NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: apparently that switch involved heavy use of illicit drugs).

Tecmo Browns - Week 7

BROWNS AND COLTS PLAY CHICKEN FOR 1ST DRAFT PICK
INDIANAPOLIS FAILS; ACCIDENTALLY WINS GAME.

21 Oct 2012
Indianapolis, IN

It seemed, with Cleveland and Indianapolis entering their Week 7 match-up a combined 8 losses, the real contest lay in who could lose and improve their chances in April's NFL Draft. In a bit of good news and bad news all rolled up into one, Cleveland's offensive ineptitude secured them another loss, increasing their standing for the 2013 NFL Draft.

Tecmo Browns - Week 6

BROWNS HIT BOTTOM AGAINST CINCINNATI
9 TOTAL YARDS IN FIRST HALF DOOM CLEVELAND TO 0-6

14 Oct 2012
Cleveland, OH

The Cleveland Browns started hotter than hot. And perhaps showing signs of a city reeling from the Reds crushing playoff loss, Cincinnati started colder than cold. Coming off his four-game suspension, Joe Haden intercepted Andy Dalton's first pass, setting up a Phil Dawson field goal. D'Qwell Jackson and the defense dominated Cincinnati--keeping Dalton and Co. in negative yardage for the first quarter. The Browns, though, will be the Browns; poised to take their largest lead of the season, Mohammed Massaquoi fumbled on Cincinnati's 13, killing any momentum.

Tecmo Browns - Week 5

STUMBLING GIANTS SQUEAK PAST BROWNS
LATE TURNOVERS SEAL VICTORY

7 Oct 2012
East Rutherford, NJ

The New York Giants got no measure of relief following their Sunday night defeat at the hands of Philadelphia. Perhaps looking past the 0-4 Browns to a tough week 6 matchup at San Francisco, the Giants needed all 4 quarters to put Cleveland away. Despite a strong defensive showing early, forcing two fumbles and sacking Cleveland QB Brandon Weeden 4 times in the first quarter alone, the Giants needed a Greg Little touchdown drop to maintain their 10-3 lead going into halftime.

Why the Browns Will Finish 12-4

So the Brownies went 0-for-September. I don't want to say I called it, but... Though such a pitiful start is not  what any sane person‡ would call encouraging news, there's precedent for a strong finish (and a playoff appearance) following an 0-4 start.So in that vein of Dumb and Dumber optimism, here's the week-by-week breakdown of WHY THE BROWNS WILL FINISH 12-4:

Week 5 at New York Giants
The Giants are not a regular season team. They'll squeak into the playoffs and proceed to then destroy everyone like Godzilla blasts Tokyo. So why not lose to the Browns? Also the Transitive Property of NFL Mathematics dictates, since a) the Eagles beat the Giants by 2; b) the Eagles beat Browns by 1; therefore c) the Browns will beat the Giants by 1.

Week 6 vs. Cincinnati
That f*#$ing punt return...grumble, grumble... Should have beat them in week 2; will beat them in week 6 at home.Plus, Haden returns in beast mode--someone's getting decapitated.

Week 7 at Indianapolis
A young team with a rookie QB and an under-performing offensive line? What a joke!


Week 8 vs. San Diego
Coming off their bye week, San Diego will be over-rested and over-confident. And Phillip Rivers is such a crybaby, I can't imagine him ever winning another game of anything ever.