First Lines: Cryptozoology for Fun and Profit

First things first: Cryptozoology for Fun and Profit, my horror/comedy novel releases today! Small town vibes? Creepy-crawlies? Wry humor? What's not to like.

Check it out here: https://books2read.com/cryptoprofit

As I like to do when one of these endeavors claws up through the muck to reach the light of day, here's the original first line of the very first draft:

"Shorn corn stalks scraped at Helen's legs as she ran."

Versus the first line as it appears in the published novel:

"Helen ran as if her life depended on it."

While the first attempt's corn stalks firmly rooted our opening scene in a definite place, it was just too clumsy. There's weird slant rhyme, "shorn corn," that makes it difficult to scan. It's also wordy (what first draft isn't?).

The revision pares it all away: Here's Helen. She's running. Keep it simple, stupid. There's also the bonus easter egg of "as if." Helen ran as if her life depended on it. What at first reads like simple idiomatic usage, turns out to be a clue: Helen ran as if her life depended on it because she's (mostly) acting her final girl part in this opening scene.

The date on the first page of the handwritten first draft of Cryptozoology for Fun and Profit is Nov.7, 2022. Not a bad turnaround, from two notebooks full of scribbling to a published book in a little under four years.

Hope you enjoy.

Book Bites: All Systems Red

All Systems Red by Martha Wells
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There is something innately endearing about a "murderbot" whose only real desire is to sit in their chambers and binge trash TV. Because what do we do when we suddenly can do anything we want? Perhaps owing to its novella wordcount, the plotting of All Systems Red feels cluttered; a peaceful science crew on a planetary mission suddenly find themselves under attack with only a lone (defective) SecUnit, a.k.a. murderbot, to defend them. Some crew members only exist as names on a page and the narration is, at times, bare-bones. But there's heart and humor enough to keep readers thoroughly enthralled and, given the novella's "Incredible Hulk" ending, asking for more.

View all my reviews

Book Bites: Biological War

Biological War: A Scenario by Annie Jacobsen
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Jacobsen’s “Biological War” is, in the most academic sense of the word, bullshit. The book is not one to let the facts get in way of a gripping narrative. If this were marketed closer to fiction it would be a fascinating page-turner. However, Jacobsen’s narrative peddles such a staggering volume of utterly specious claims (Mongols caused the Black Death, COVID-19 was a lab leak), that the book ends up feeling like the tinfoil hat ravings of a doomsday prepper.

Its bad enough that I'm now wondering if her previous book, Nuclear War, which I loved, is as shoddily thrown together.

This hypothetical mega-plague relies on, no joke, an exploding Russia lab (even though there have been previous lab explosions which did not result in mass death), a rave-attending Catholic study abroad student, jetsetting rich assholes and Gavin Newsom’s turn to podcasting. The scenario also relies on LA's Skid Row as a major disease vector; in doing so Jacobsen (accidentally or no) makes unrestrained late-stage capitalism the main driver of this disease. So, according to Pulitzer-prize finalist and reporter Annie Jacobsen, re-appropriating wealth from Smaugish billionaires will stop the next COVID. 

 

If the text would at least admit its far-flung (and sometimes downright false) nature, there could be something of a discussion. As is, Biological War is best shelved alongside slop fiction and skipped.

View all my reviews

Pre-Order Cryptozoology for Fun and Profit!

 Pre-orders are now live for what is certain to be spooky szn's breakout literary hit: Cryptozoology for Fun and Profit!

Pre-order your digital and/or paperback copy today!
https://books2read.com/cryptoprofit