Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Indians Ace Cliff Lee Traded to Philadelphia Philles

A Keith is Good! Sports Brief

29 July 2009

MLB's Cleveland Indians dealt star pitcher Cliff Lee and reserve outfielder Ben Fransisco to the Philadelphia Phillies in exchange for 4 minor league prospects.

"Honestly I thought I was being Punk'd." said Phillies General Manager Ruben Amaro Jr. "We get an ace pitcher without losing any of our top minor league players? But then [Indians General Manager Mark] Shapiro gave me a call and assured me there was no punking in place."

According to secret documents acquired by Keith is Good! Sports! (at a cost of many Bothan lives), the deal originally included a request that each Indians' fan be personally sodomized; a clause written out of the final contract.

When pressed on this point, Amaro Jr. shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't feel the need for that particular clause. I mean, we came close enough anyway, right?"

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