The 2013 NFL (Uniform) Playoffs - Championship Round

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

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What is this, 2004? Indy and New England? Indy arrived here by being cleaner than Baltimore's dirty-bird attire and less annoying than Denver's kit. New England just barely escaped the black hole of awful which ate Cincinnati and Texas. This match up is traditional minimalism vs. sleek modernism. I love the simplicity of the Colts' uniforms, but leave with the feeling it needs that dash of je ne sais quoi. A splash of accent color, perhaps? In the end, Indy is just too plain for this match up. The Patriots flat-out look better.

The 2013 NFL (Uniform) Playoffs - Divisional Round

It would seem picking game winners based solely on uniform aesthetics is no dumber than any other prognostication method. Last week a supermassive black hole of uniform atrocity ate both Cincy and Houston. So excepting New-Cleveland triumphing over Old-Baltimore in the battle of dirty, no-good, team thieves, last week's predictions went 2-for-3 (and that ain't bad). That said, its on to...

AFC DIVISIONAL GAME # 1

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Last week, Indy's uniforms reigned supreme over the dirty birds (Their team? Not so much). This week then finds Colt Blue facing Bronco Orange. When Denver introduced its new uni set in the 90's, its modern design represented a complete departure from the norm. The convening years, however, have seen a number of teams ape the Brocs with varying degrees of success (YAY!-Seattle; BOO!-Cincinnati). The once-revolutionary design now seems ho-hum. That and Denver's garish orange color are why I say Indy has the better uniform.

The 2013 NFL (Uniform) Playoffs - Wild Card Round

AFC WILD CARD # 1

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Ugh. Cincinnati's set is the definition of 'costume-ish.' The clown getup seemed apropos when Ochocinco and TO patrolled the sidelines, but it now seems dated. Gradated white/orange/black leg stripes and garish shoulder yokes ice this craptacular cake. The Houston Texans' uniforms, on the other hand, look like a Chinese knock-off of the Patriots uniforms. They're boring to the nth degree, having all the flavor of cold gruel. No winner here, only losers.