Deadly Drafts - CH 41

THE IMMOLATOR 

 

Bernard filled the bar's double-doors. Water dripped from his plaster-white forearms. His left eye, the one closest to his scar, twitched Morse Code: C-R-A-Z-Y. He’d changed from his ripped guard's uniform into a flaming red singlet, his face painted in licks of orange, red and pink. Leather boots rose to his knee. He looked like (and indeed, at one time was) a 'roid-addled WWE-wannabe. He reeked of low-tide. A-Ha replaced Dexy's Midnight Runners and Bernard thundered into the bar, teeth barred. 

"I don't have to kill you," he roared, "but the Immolator will if he has to!" 

The Irregulars scattered. Harris darted into a small huddle of dancing women. Kavi hopped the bar. Only Arthur, buzzed on the righteous anger of a jilted lover, had the insanity to run dead at Bernard. Beyond this giant cartoon of a wrestler, Arthur saw freedom. He saw payback. Bernard set his feet and lowered his shoulders to grapple. Arthur, deciding to play dirty, launched a nearby pint glass. 

"You get him, honey!" a 6'5" Cher shouted. 

Light beer and broken glass exploded against Bernard's forehead. He howled and flopped onto his ass, wiping shards from his face. Blood dribbled between his fingers. Hallelujah! The Walls of Jericho have tumbled down! 

Arthur sprinted past the fallen giant. "You son of a bitch!" Arthur yelled. "This isn't over!" 

Like a zombie Bernard thrust a hand and caught Arthur mid-stride. Arthur tumbled ass-over-ears and slammed his face into the doorjamb. His lip split. Blood and denatured Natty Light glued Arthur's cheek to the floor. The world swam in purples and whites.  

"Come on!" Harris emerged from the haze with his hand extended.  

Bernard lumbered up to his feet. He roared, smearing blood and facepaint from his eyes. Head down, he launched forward as A-Ha launched into their pre-chorus. His hands reached to Arthur. A heartbeat before fingers grasped ankle, though, Bernard's head jerked back. His eyes bulged. Spit dangled from his lips.  

"Run to the van!" 

Kavi's original plan included such gallant acts as jumping the bar and running like hell. Seeing Arthur face-plant, however, crystallized a Three Musketeers thought: The Irregulars stood a better chance together than apart. Kavi's revised plan included such gallant acts as jumping back over the bar and choking Bernard to unconsciousness. Kavi launched herself from the top rope and locked arms around the oaf's neck, a rhinestone-studded mask and a steel chair shy of a Mexican wrestling match.

 

Chapter Forty-Two