Friday, February 1, 2013

The 2013 NFL (Uniform) Super Bowl

[DrumrollTrumpet Fanfare!]

After a bizarre Wild Card Round, a hard-fought Divisional Round, the Traditional v. Modern battles of the Championship Round, here we are, the Super Bowl of NFL Uniforms. Cue Whitney's Star Spangled Banner, cause its about to get real up in here.

If the NFC wasn't designated as this year's home team, that tie would back to nip San Fran in the ass. Their regular season mark of 11-4-1 would have made them the road team in Super Bowl XLVII (Exelvieya?). Finishing the season 12-4, the Pats would get to wear their (slightly better) navy over grey home kit...

...But its all prevarication. Home/Away colors is dictated by the NFL and the Niners get to be homies this year. Red over gold is waaaaaaay (complete with 7 a's) better than any possible combination of Patriot grey, navy and red. SF's supreme block typeface and the superiority of the interlocked SF Oval over Flying Elvis make it a lock. Even in the real Super Bowl, where the Niners face the Baltimore Ravens no-good, dirty team thieves, San Francisco wins the Super Bowl of Uniforms in a walk.

Not to toot my own horn (doc says I'll go blind), but I also picked San Fran as the winner of MLB's World Series of Uniforms as well. What can I say? I left my heart uniform in San Francisco.

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