Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Gaddafi Escapes After Libyan Rebels Mistakenly Execute Carlos Santana

Gaddafi and Santana
Honestly, I'd make the same mistake.

26 October 2011
Misrata, Libya

It would seem Libyan declarations of independence have come, like a virgin on prom night, prematurely.

While performing an autopsy this past Sunday, it was discovered rebels had the corpse not of Mummar Gaddafi, but instead American Rock Gutitarist Carlos Santana. Official reports of the snafu conflict, but rebel fighters paint a simpler picture.

Asad al Maquri, one of the rebels present at the faux-despot's capture, explains the situation thusly:

"He was all like, 'Don't shoot--you got the wrong man! I'm Carlos Santana!' And I was like, 'Enough of your filthy lies, Gaddafi!'" Asad takes a deep breath, his blue eyes shimmering and clear. "I mean, isn't that EXACTLY what Gaddafi would say?"

"So we shot the bastard."

Even considering this major setback, Libyan independence may still arrive within the week.

"We've dispatched a team to Reno, Nevada," al Maquri says with a smile. "We have it on good intelligence Gaddafi is playing a gig at the House of Blues tomorrow."

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