1. Fern Michaels
Holy S**t! It's a zombie! Kill it! Kill it! Cut off its head before she eats the dog!
2. Richard Marcinko
a. I surrender.
b. I just peed.
c. I mentioned the surrender thing, right?
3. Marisha Pessl
You can imagine my surprise and disappointment to find her "Special Topics in Calamity Physics" lacked a centerfold.
4. Danielle Steel
Doubles as a useful PSA for the dangers of multiple face-lifts.
And no list would be complete without the Keith is Good! Bad Author Photo Emeritus:
5. Truman Capote
6. Truman Capote
AND,
7. Truman Capote
Every time I close my copy of "In Cold Blood," I'm afraid he'll burn himself with that cigarette.
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