Thursday, May 22, 2008

Clinton teams with Target

Duo to "make fasion history"

By The Truth* Staff

MINNEAPOLIS (May 22,2008) Target (NYSE:TGT) announced plans of a joint venture with New York Senator/Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton. A memo released today by the big-box retailer details plans to manufacture a line of "Hillary Rodham Clinton" Pantsuits for women. The clothing, to be designed by fashionista Joy Gryson and manufactured in Target's Minneapolis, MN plant, will carry the slogan, "It Just Won't Quit!"

According to the press release, "The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit will represent the apex of feminine, yet powerful design. Designer Joy Gryson's durable, quality Pantsuit has been road-tested all across America, from Iowa to New Hampshire to Kentucky, all along the way proving its immense popularity and indefatigable nature." Industry critics aren't so rosy about the Pantsuit, and point to low thread counts in early prototypes. "The numbers don't lie," said one designer wishing to remain anonymous. "Clinton's thread count won't be able to mach the thread count of rival suits. She should be wise and bow out before any real damage is done."

Sales projections, however, show the Pantsuit to be a hotly expected in certain areas such as Pennsylvania, California and New York. Detractors to the venture argue such areas would be receptive to any manner of well-crafted suit, rendering the Clinton/Target venture redundant. The Clinton Campaign could not be reached for comment. Although its effects on Campaign Finance Laws are still under review, all profits from the Pantsuits, which go on sale the first quarter 2009, are set to go to the Hillary for President 2008 Campaign fund.

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