Wednesday, January 21, 2009

In The Know!

A Series of Public Service Announcements brought to you by the Staff at Keith is Good!

Skirting Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
(Whilst Scoring Skirt).

Parenthetical Numbers (1) Refer to footnotes at end of document.

So, your place of employment just filled its last opening (1), and in making the 'get-to-know-you' rounds at each department, you've noticed the woman holding the firm's new position (2) is ridiculously hot. We're talking Earth's equator in August; like, you'd stab your mother's eye for a shag. Sweaty palms and strategically placed sales binders will certainly be the order of the day, but there's no need to worry about your legal well-being. In the immortal words of Douglas Adams, "Don't Panic." Just follow the simple examples below to skirt sexual harassment charges (and maybe score some skirt as well!).

Your first interaction with said strumpet will undoubtedly be during her first rounds of the office. Don't let this innocuous introduction be your downfall!
Let's take a look a the example below

Uh oh! Looks like Jim is in sticky place!(2). Let's see how he should have handled it...


That a boy, Jim!
But you're not out of the bush yet!(1) Modern workplaces have done away with segregation of the weaker sex, so its likely you'll bump into Jade(2) on a daily basis. What happens during that chance encounter in the break room? Let's see what Jim does...


Seems our boy Jim is in a tight spot now!(2) What could he have done different?...



Now that's how a man should act! With both introductions and chance encounters mastered, you're home free right? WRONG, STUPID! The most important, the most infamous situation you'll be jammed into(2) is the dreaded OFFICE PARTY. These after-hours events are a veritable minefield of potential faux-paus's's...'s...So let's see how Jim's handles the hottie(1) ...

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It looks like more than his ego will be bruised there! Let's see how it should have went down(2) ...
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JADE AND JIM BEGIN KISSING COPIOUSLY.(3)

So there you have it. Jim has been thrust(2) into three nasty spots(2) and come away strong(1) . What do these examples have in common? That the minds of women are easily manipulated, of course! Just follow our simple advice and you'll Skirt sexual harassment charges in the workplace whilst scoring skirt!

And now you're...


Footnotes:
1. *Wink, Wink*
2. See: Footnote 1
3. With a Nod to Brian Jones

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